A few weeks ago, I went to a bookstore for the first time after abstaining for two months. Prior to this unaccustomed dry spell, I’d been indulging my bibliophilic appetites every couple weeks at least. As soon as the weekend rolled around, I’d be seized by an irresistible impulse to get in my car and drive to Second Story Books in Rockville, MD, a massive, labyrinthine warehouse packed wall to wall and floor to ceiling with volumes on every subject you can think of, and probably a few you can’t. I was like a bored Sherlock Holmes in need of a fix, and wandering the musty aisles was a soothing seven-per-cent. solution shot straight into my veins.
After a while, the habit grew old, the high elusive. A few minutes’ browsing were enough to disillusion me. Was there anything on the shelves that hadn’t been there the week before? And—this made me especially anxious—didn’t I already have some three thousand books at home, ninety-odd percent of them unread? How will I ever get through all those books before I die? What if Elon Musk doesn’t invent immortality before my body starts to decay, and I’m forced to breathe my last with my mind still mostly empty, an echoing storehouse lined with gleaming, sterile shelves unburdened by . . . much of anything?
And here the drug analogy breaks down. Addicts use more, and more frequently, to maintain the high.1 I finally convinced myself that I had to do the opposite. Less buying, more reading. I went cold turkey. No bookstores in April, I decreed on March 31; and when April ended, I re-upped for another month, with an exception for my birthday late in May.
In addition to reading, I tried to channel my big book energy into a project I first conceived last year, before I started this Substack: A series of essays about my library. Like I said, I have a lot of books. Few are rare or valuable, but many are curious or intriguing in one way or another. I thought it would be fun to pick one or two or three or more and write something about them. Some of the pieces I had in mind were too time-consuming for me at the moment, so the piece I started in on was more along the lines of “hey isn’t this interesting,” rather than an in-depth essay requiring extensive reading and research.
And you know what’s super easy to find without much reading and research? That’s right—antisemitism!
Back in February, I gathered a few relevant books and typed up some preliminary thoughts. More recently, I began to dig deeper and flesh out my notes into something more substantive. It soon became clear that I would have too much for a single post. At least one of the books might require its own essay. The whole thing started to spin out of control. Would I have to actually read every book cover to cover? That wasn’t part of the plan!
Well, I’m still figuring out what I’m doing exactly, and we’ll have to wait and see whether the final product will be interesting and worth reading. All I can say for now is that what started as a single post about some Jew-skeptical books will most likely be a series of three, and the first one is almost completed. Be on the lookout for it in the near future, and if you haven’t already subscribed, please be sure to do so now.
I have no experience with non-herbal drugs. Any resemblance between this claim and the truth is at least partly coincidental.